i need a new place to speak/process without limitation so am creating this space.
i scanned back through old blogs from 13+ years ago. amazing - that selfsame voice. clear. much younger. i see the evolution.
this cancer is a gift. i have a clear sense of it being part of my divined path.
went to support group last night. it is, in person, speaking, being witnessed, feeling others' response, that i know and become clear my gifts. i have a gift for dropping in, for being available to fully experience something, for expressing now, for reaching/touching/shifting/gracing others through unfettered expression. this is how i serve - fully expressing. not being in my own way. i experience it in people's responses.
i have a strength. i'm a force. more accurately, 'i' am universal force.
G's 1st thought when she saw i had cancer: "she's got this".
H & C shared similar, calm statements that i took in, noted:
H:
There has been so much love, from so many people, in the ways they give love. Ari. Anja. J writing me email at 12:30am, taking 20 min. out while rounding to talk with me. More email. Consulting her colleague. Calling in for that first appointment. Just being there, being there. Family. I am so touched.
Mom & dad offering help. Money. Support - just ask.
S, yesterday, paraphrased out of order: "i feel a connection/resonance w/you. i'm a SAHP w/kids in school. i am around. i have hours. i want to be here for you...you came over with sushi and hung out when J was born. as an extrovert it was so helpful just to have you be there with me. so remember that from me and members of your communities. <3"
On abundance of universal support. G, yesterday:
i scanned back through old blogs from 13+ years ago. amazing - that selfsame voice. clear. much younger. i see the evolution.
this cancer is a gift. i have a clear sense of it being part of my divined path.
went to support group last night. it is, in person, speaking, being witnessed, feeling others' response, that i know and become clear my gifts. i have a gift for dropping in, for being available to fully experience something, for expressing now, for reaching/touching/shifting/gracing others through unfettered expression. this is how i serve - fully expressing. not being in my own way. i experience it in people's responses.
i have a strength. i'm a force. more accurately, 'i' am universal force.
G's 1st thought when she saw i had cancer: "she's got this".
H & C shared similar, calm statements that i took in, noted:
H:
C:
There has been so much love, from so many people, in the ways they give love. Ari. Anja. J writing me email at 12:30am, taking 20 min. out while rounding to talk with me. More email. Consulting her colleague. Calling in for that first appointment. Just being there, being there. Family. I am so touched.
Mom & dad offering help. Money. Support - just ask.
T, the other day:
S, yesterday, paraphrased out of order: "i feel a connection/resonance w/you. i'm a SAHP w/kids in school. i am around. i have hours. i want to be here for you...you came over with sushi and hung out when J was born. as an extrovert it was so helpful just to have you be there with me. so remember that from me and members of your communities. <3"
On abundance of universal support. G, yesterday:
I've been gifted this perfectly timed experience for the universe not only knows I can meet it, but knows it will fully bloom me out beyond any other thing.
What other thing could so quickly swipe away the last dusty cobwebs of self-censorship and lack of clarity besides something like this?
SO thankful.
Thank you, Universe, Spirit, God. I love this body. I love these tweaked cells, doing what they beautifully and perfectly do in exquisite response to tweakiness/dis-ease in life.
I'm so grateful for the clarion call to look at any remaining dis-ease in my life. To love myself up. To forgive. To let go that which does not serve. To hone straight to the path before me. And sprint. And walk with feet grounded upon the earth. Solid. Strong. Into what I'm here for.
xo
me.
